Suspicious surge in betting on pundits saying ‘England to rise in tournament’
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Suspicious surge in betting on pundits saying ‘England to rise in tournament’

Without a shred of evidence, football commentators and pundits continue to claim that England will “grow up” to the European finals. Unable to find reasonable odds elsewhere, experienced gamblers like Ivan Toney are believed to be responsible for the huge increase in betting on how many times Alan Shearer will repeat that senseless ejaculation from his mouth.

“I totally understand that the pre-match preparations have to create intrigue and danger,” the Dutchman said. “But there are limits to suspended disbelief. And indeed, the number of goals that Oranjie can score in the first 30 seconds of a match.

‘Shearer should free himself from the confines of the diamond commentary and move on to “That’s the sign of true champions when they can play like shit and still win.” I’m telling you, he’d bet 66/1 on saying that, and that’s a near certainty when England leave the pitch 4-0 down at half-time.

“You have a team of great players. The skill and consistency they have shown at club level is beyond dispute. It takes extraordinary discipline to keep all that skill hidden for an entire tournament.”